Routines + Flexibility

 

Psych & Such    |    15 May 2021

Every morning, I drink black coffee.  Yes and amen.  However, today I am waking up in my mom's house who keeps deliciously-named nondairy creamer in her fridge.  I went for coffee with cream.  It feels a little wrong, but also kind of right... This got me thinking about habits and routines people form, keep, and attempt to create.

Dr. Katy Milkman, a professor at Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania is an expert on behavioral change (see her new book: How to Change).  Some research she ran and discusses is how routines are best when kept flexible. Let's think about an example.  Let's say you want to start calling your mom every day on your drive home at 5PM to catch-up (aw! Son- or daughter-of-the-year?...I think so!).  If you are rigid to the 5PM timeframe, what happens when you have a late day at the office and are driving home at 7PM?  

If you resort to, "Yikes, I missed my call with mom..." - this might indicate a rigid routine that may prevent consistent success.  In other words, the routine becomes too dichotomous, either I did it or I didn't. It was right or wrong.  I was successful or I failed. 

Rather, if someone was less concerned about the time of 5PM, and more focused on calling one's mom on a regular basis, they may resort to, "Welp, I missed my typical call with my mom at 5, but I could still call her now and see if she's available...or, we can pick-up where we left off tomorrow, I'll call her then."  This flexibility in routines is more about finding alternatives to still getting accomplished what you want, without getting wrapped around the logistics.  

Stay flexible, my friends!